John always woke at midnight. He couldn't help it. He'd done it for most of his adult life. It was just a thing that happened. Sometimes he was able to go back to sleep immediately, sometimes he couldn't. It was those nights that he would deliberate: get up or stay in bed? Get up and work out or try to bore himself back to sleep with War and Peace?

It continued even once he started sleeping with Rodney. He couldn't stay all night - not safe, but he was always there at midnight when he could stay over. And he always woke up at midnight. Which sucked, because John was stuck with his same choices and the need to stay quiet enough to let Rodney sleep.

"I know you're up." Rodney's voice was quiet in the darkness and he placed one hand gently on the front of John's shoulder. "You're always up at midnight. Is it time to howl at the moon?"

"I dunno," John said. "Which moon?"

Rodney paused, his fingers rubbing John's shoulder lightly. "Anything I can do to help?"

John leaned his cheek against Rodney's hand. "Maybe," he said. "You could touch me."

"I am touching you," Rodney whispered, but he moved his fingers to touch the side of John's face.

"More," John said. "You feel good."

"No," Rodney answered that's you. You feel good." He eased John onto his side and snugged up behind him, his body warm against John's from chest to toes.

John rolled his head back to rest his neck on Rodney's shoulder. "I didn't mean to wake you," he said. "You need the sleep."

"I need you," Rodney said simply, and it still stunned John to hear those things that Rodney could just say - things that John could barely think about. But maybe the dark could shroud that, too.

"I..." John said. "Rodney, you know I..."

"It's okay." Rodney said. "I know." He moved his hand around to stroke John's chest. John sighed and let himself slump against Rodney. "Shhhh," Rodney said. "Just stay there, I've got you."

"I know," John said, and maybe it wasn't so hard to say things in the dark. He just leaned back against Rodney, and he didn't even jump when Rodney's hard cock pressed against him. Rodney didn't move, he just held in place and stroked John's hip.

"Stay there," Rodney said again, then moved, stroking his cock gently against the small of John's back. Rodney's hand slipped down, and John blushed, knowing that Rodney could feel that he wasn't hard at all.

"I," John said, but Rodney shushed him again and slid lower to touch John's thigh, to move his hand in long, warm strokes.

John didn't know what to do, didn't know what to think. Rodney didn't seem disappointed, and John couldn't really wrap his head around that. He rolled his head against Rodney's shoulder again, twisting far enough to get his lips to the perfect spot under Rodney's ear.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Rodney said. "I just want to touch you. Everything's fine."

John started to speak again, even though he had no idea what to say, but Rodney brought his hand up to run long soothing strokes from his ribs to the top of his thigh over and over.

"Go back to sleep," Rodney said softly.

John could feel himself drowsing, but he still knew that he should...

"Go to sleep," Rodney said again. "It's okay. It's twelve-thirty."