"It's...huge. I've never seen one that big." John couldn't help recoiling back from the laptop screen.

"You said you'd never seen one before mine!" Rodney did "affronted" very well.

John rolled his eyes. "Straight porn, dumbass. I've seen straight porn. And I'm in the military, sometimes we shower together, you know."

"Okay," Rodney said, still not appeased. "I think that guy's a genetic anomaly, anyway."

"I'm a genetic anomaly." John puffed out his chest.

"That's true," Rodney sniffed, "but your cock's not as big as that guy's."

"That's not a fair comparison," John argued. "I've seen babies' arms that weren't as big as that. Also, that isn't what you said last night. I seem to recall someone saying something about my dick being pretty big."

"Yes, dear, you have a big dick," Rodney said, longsufferingly. "It's big and I'm totally satisfied and you're the best I've ever had."

"I really kind of hate you," John said.