Because it looked like a phone booth, Rodney named it the Tardis. Later, he amended the name: reTardis.

At noon, John stepped in. At 12:01, John stepped out. As a six-year-old.

"Oh, hell no," Rodney groaned.

John's eyes got big and he squealed, "You said a naughty word!"

At 12:05, Rodney shoved John back in. At 12:06, John stepped out, this time as an adult. At 12:06:02, another John stepped out. At 12:06:04, another. At 12:06:06, another.

Rodney's brain started fizzing gently. Reluctantly, he sent all four Johns back inside.

At 12:10, John stepped out, clad head to toe in black leather and with a very pointy goatee and sinister eyebrows. Before he could speak, Rodney pushed him back in.

At 12:12, John flew out. In the process of catching him, Rodney banged his shin and got fairy dust in his hair. John sat on the small shelf inside the device and pouted, wings drooping.

At 12:26, John sprang from the booth and landed silently on the ground in a graceful crouch before leaping out the door. At 2:15, Ronon stunned him on one of the catwalks, carried him back to the lab and placed him gently inside the device.

At 2:18, Rodney pulled an unconscious John from the booth and tried to make him comfortable. At 2:32, John stirred, his head moving gently from side to side where it was pillowed on Rodney's thigh.

Bleary eyes slitted open, then widened almost comically. "Jesus, Rodney! You've got a filthy mind!"

Rodney kept up an internal litany of "la la la can't hear you" as he helped John back into the machine.

At 2:43, John exited the booth and declared himself King of Atlantis, ordering Rodney to kneel before him.

Rodney thought about it, but shoved John backward instead.

At 2:50, John stayed inside the booth, sitting on the floor. He looked out at Rodney and started to sing in a low, hypnotic voice. Enchanted, Rodney crawled forward, then slammed the door shut as soon as he could reach it.

That Greek Mythology class had finally come in handy.

At 3:01, John came out in a tuxedo, holding a martini. Rodney silently pointed to the booth's door until John gave up and walked dejectedly inside.

At 3:09, John danced out, accompanied by a driving rock beat and started to gyrate while unzipping his jacket.

Rodney let him get down to his boxers before reluctantly pushing him back inside.

At 3:13, John strode out of the booth. They were almost to the door of the lab before Rodney noticed the forked tail.

At 3:20, John refused to come out. Rodney took one look at the bald head, rounded belly and saffron robes and shut the door. Then he collapsed on the floor and laughed until he cried.

At 3:27, John came out. He looked normal.

At 5:15, Carson pronounced John fit for duty.

At 7:03, the booth was placed in a high-security storage space with a sign reading "Very, very weird. Do not touch. (signed) Dr. Rodney McKay."

At 11:28, John beat Rodney at chess for the eleventh straight game, and Rodney decided to just let it go.