Somehow, Rodney had gotten it into his head that John was a virgin. John hadn't been inclined to disabuse him of the notion, mostly because:

1. John really liked making out/handjobs/blowjobs/backrubs,
2. John really liked watching Rodney tie himself up in knots trying to be sensitive, and
3. John was pretty much an asshole.

"Ready?" Rodney said, rubbing a gentle hand up and down John's back. "We don't have to, you know. I don't want you to feel pressured."

John bit down on his lower lip. He pressed back against Rodney's hand and tilted his head to one side to expose the side of his long neck - he knew the neck thing absolutely killed Rodney. Rodney took the bait, mouthing his way up to the underside of John's jaw, making him shiver. John played one more card, shifting his hips back a bit.

Rodney moved his hand back between John's legs, pushing one finger inside. John barely felt it - Rodney had already used enough lube to slick up a freaking Slip 'n Slide. "This okay?" Rodney said.

"Yeah," John said. And it was. It felt great. It had taken Rodney weeks to make his big move, and by then John was so ready to get fucked that he'd considered owning up to his charade. Luckily, Rodney had broken first, inviting John over and plying him with beer and Fritos and Back to the Future, Part III before luring him over to the freshly made bed and sloooowly ramping up the tension from gentle making out to a finger - finally - in John's ass.

John shivered when Rodney pulled out and went back with two fingers and even more lube. The fingers went in slow and gentle, and John wanted to scream, "fuck me already!" Instead, he let out a small whimper, trying to decide if whispering, "don't hurt me" constituted overkill. He decided it did.

When Rodney kissed him behind the ear and murmured, "Shhhhhhh," John had to bite his lip hard. He lost some of the act when Rodney started pushing into him so damn slowly. He shoved back, forgetting to be faux-shy. "Easy," Rodney crooned. John almost lost it, squeezing his eyes shut and turning his face into the pillow. His gasp and moan when Rodney kneed his legs apart and fingered him with deeper strokes were real.

"Please," John panted, and he whined a little when Rodney took his fingers away, but the whine turned into a groan when he felt the head of Rodney's cock, slick with - for the love of god more lube - press against him. Rodney hesitated just a second, then started pushing inside. He kept it maddeningly slow and gentle, and John shook with the tension of having to play the blushing virgin.

"Can I..." Rodney choked out. "God, John. Can I move?"

"Yes," John said, and he rolled over onto his belly, spreading his legs wider, trying to get Rodney to fuck him at least a little harder. Rodney moaned and sped up, and John just laid there and took it, his natural laziness making him happy that he didn't have to do any of the work. By the time Rodney was getting close - out of breath and grunting with each thrust - John wasn't far behind. Rodney slammed in and came, and John bucked his hips until Rodney flipped him over and sucked him all the way down.

John came hard, his body curling up off the bed.

John drifted, only starting to wake up when Rodney went to the bathroom, coming back to gently clean John up before getting them under the covers and wrapping John in his arms, spooning up against his back.

The soft kiss to the back of his head was the last straw, and John started shaking with silent laughter. Rodney's whole body stiffened and he clutched John to him.

"Oh, my god. Oh, my god. I hurt you. You let me hurt you. I mean, not that it's your fault that I'm some sort of brute or monster or...or...or...something that hurts other things..."

Rodney's hysteria was just too much for John. He threw his head back and howled with laughter.

Rodney flipped him over, his eyes searching John's face. When John couldn't get himself under control, comprehension started to dawn.

"You..." Rodney said, his eyebrows rising almost to his hairline. "You lied? You...you...you...held out on me for a month? I was undemanding! I was gentle! I was nice, you giant fuckhead!"

John hiccupped with laughter, then tried - and failed - to school his features. "I really appreciated your patience with my ass-virginity, Rodney. You were a perfect gentleman, really."

"I hate you," Rodney said, flopping back onto the bed and crossing his arms over his chest.

"Ha!" John said, rolling up on his side, wiping the tears out of his eyes with his free hand. "You were so sweet. You totally made popping my ass cherry special, I swear."

"Fuck you," Rodney said, but John could see the smile playing about his lips.

"No, really," John said. "I just hope you'll still respect me in the morning and not tell all the other boys that I'm a slut."

Rodney uncrossed his arms and reached up, and John suddenly found himself turned over onto his front and pinned under Rodney. "Hey!" he said, but it was mostly muffled by the pillow.

"Shut up," Rodney growled into his ear. "My turn."

John tried a halfhearted push upward, but was derailed by Rodney sliding two fingers up his ass, not slowly and not carefully. Rodney's fingers shoved in hard, and John could only pant open-mouthed against the sheets. When Rodney pushed another in, John spread his legs even wider.

He figured he should probably tell Rodney that there was no way his refractory period was that short, when Rodney's hand turned and he pressed ruthlessly against John's prostate. John got hard so fast it hurt.

"God," he yelped, but Rodney didn't let up, keeping the pressure on while grinding John's cock against the bed with his weight.

John thought he was going to pass out or rip apart or scream, but all he did was fuck the sheets and make wordless noises. When he came, he buried an embarrassing not-really-a-scream into the pillow.

This time, Rodney left him lying in the wet spot, so John grabbed Rodney's shirt off the floor to clean himself up. "Jesus, Rodney," he said. "That was..."

"That was fun," Rodney said gleefully. "That was even more fun than 'deflowering' you. And, don't worry, I'll probably still respect you in the morning."

John flipped him off, but he had to laugh when Rodney jumped onto the bed before spooning them together under the frankly kinda gross sheets.

John bided his time, waiting for the perfect moment. When Rodney was deeply asleep and the time was right, he turned and poked Rodney in the arm.

"What?" Rodney said, startling awake.

John grinned at him. "It's 12:01," he said. "Do you still respect me?"

Rodney frowned, then leaned in and kissed John anyway. "No," he murmured between kisses. "Not even a little bit."